Tribute To Stephen by Mary Nielson

October 13, 2009

I’m honored to be asked to say a few things about the early life of my wonderful brother Stephen. In 1940 when Jack and Ada Thomas married, dad gave our mother a ring with 6 diamonds in it. One for each of the children they hoped to have.

Chuck was born first, I was second and then John …and they thought they were half done. But it was discovered that mother had serious spinal and back problems that might cripple her if she bore another child.

After several years her health seemed better. In her prayers she made a promise to God that if he would bless her with health and more children, she would devote her life to teaching them to love the Lord and to serve their fellow men.

After Stephen’s birth, she wrote: “Stephen is such a beautiful child. Every time I look at him I think of my wonderful blessing. He has given me new hope.”

I was 5 years older, and liked to pretend I was his mother. I was there clapping with delight when he learned something new, like sitting, walking and learning to talk. Mother said that he would talk and sing all day, but when we came home from school he would get quiet. Because when he said something, we would say “Oh, he is so cute”, and he did not like to be the center of attention. When visitors would come to our house, he would disappear. He even hid at one of his own birthday parties.

Stephen was happiest when he could be outside. When he was 3, mother made a list of what she found in his pocket.
1 feather
2 checkers
6 bent nails (his fish hooks)
1 old curler
1 bottle cap
1 peg from an old ukulele
1 piece of broken glass”

When he was 8 we moved to Prescott. Stephen discovered gardening and planted bulbs and strawberry plants and carefully tended them. Mother wrote: “Stephen is still the same quiet rather shy boy that loves to feed the birds and squirrels and water anything that will grow. He has lots of friends that come here to play cowboys. He has no enemies.” (I loved that…no enemies…he was too kind to have enemies.)

He was a bit of a tease once in a while though…..Our sister Margaret tells how she would sit by Stephen at meal time. She was about 4 years old and he was 12…and was very nice to her. After the prayer was said, she would reach for her glass of water and it was always empty. So she would have to go get some more. That happened almost every night.

Years later, Stephen told her what happened. He would drink his water before the prayer was said. Then during the prayer he would switch his glass with hers.

“When he was 13 he started a morning paper route and arose at 4:30am every morning to deliver 100 papers. He liked to go to bed at dark and then get up and enjoy the morning.”
All that sleep paid off and he grew to 6’3” ….as he entered Arcadia High School.

Some things he loved were animals….all kinds. He had pigeons, snakes, rabbits and a rat named Arthur. He liked Andy Griffeth, Wallace and Ladmo and Maverick.

He liked basketball, high jumping and running. He played the cello and bass. After High School he played bass in his brother Chuck’s popular “Honey and Soul” band.

He had a Tepee, and loved to go camping and biking with his brothers. He attended NAU and then spent 2 years as a missionary in Canada and Montana. During those 2 years he devoted all of his time to the Lord by giving loving service to others.

As I think of Stephen’s life, I realize that my younger brother, who I used to “mother”, has become my teacher in many ways. He quietly served, avoiding recognition. When he saw a need and he quickly responded. He regularly visited and cared for our parents in their old age.

I believe our mother was successful in the promise she made to the Lord…..Her son truly loved and served his fellowmen.

We love you Stephen.

Mary Nielson

Stephen Neville Thomas

We lost Steve October 7, 2009. He maintained his gentle and kind nature to the end, thinking more of others than himself. Steve was born January 17, 1948 in Glendale, CA, the fourth of ten children. He graduated from Arcadia High School in 1966 and served in the Western Canadian Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Steve and Mary were married July 7, 1973 in the Mesa Arizona Temple. Steve discovered his artistic talent which developed into his profession as a decorative painter. He made the life of decorators easier with his ability to match colors and his I-can-do-that approach to any idea they had. Steve loved to travel. He enjoyed the fall in New England, going through the Nauvoo Temple as it was being completed, and touring England and Scotland while working on the Preston England Temple. He traveled to Northern Europe just before becoming ill and came back with wonderful memories. Steve was a gardener. His home was surrounded by beautiful flowers. He had a “pack of dogs” and an aviary filled with love birds. Steve loved and had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. His favorite calling was serving as a Primary Teacher. He had a gift for communicating with young children and taught the gospel to many children over the years. Steve’s family was his greatest love. He was a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather. He worked hard to provide for his family, but took time to go on walks with his teenagers. He loved carrying babies with him while he worked in his yard. He was a kind, gentle man. He will be missed by family and friends.He is survived by his wife Mary, children Sarah (Tom) Purcell, Valerie Hyde, Bret Thomas, and Jacob (Veronica) Thomas. Grandchildren: Emma, Elizabeth, and Michael Purcell, Josh, Brad, and Hailey Hyde, Jocelyn and Natalie Thomas. Siblings: Chuck (Diana) Thomas, Mary (Russell) Nielsen, John (Madge) Thomas, Carol (David) Herring, Helen (Artie) Hancock, David (Gayle) Thomas, Margaret (Larry) Manning, Martha (Doug) Moyer, and Richard (Diane) Thomas. Predeceased by his parents, Harold “Jack” and Ada ParkinsonThomas and son-in-law, Gordon “Doogie” Hyde. Visitation will be Monday, October 12, 2009 from 6:00-8:00 p.m. at Bunker’s Garden Chapel, 33 N. Centennial Way in Mesa. Funeral Services are Tuesday, October 13, 2009 10:00 a.m. LDS Chapel, 2222 E. Brown Rd. with visitation at 9:00 a.m. Interment following at the

City of Mesa Cemetery.

Steve's Visitation and Funeral Arrangements

Monday, October 12
Bunker's at 33 N. Centennial Way
Visitation 6:00 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Tuesday, October 13
Mesa East Stake Center
LDS Chapel
2228 E. Brown Rd.
Visitation 9:00 a.m.
Funeral 10:00 a.m.

Interment following services at Mesa Cemetery

We lost Steve at 1:50 a.m. October 7, 2009

I visited with Steve yesterday afternoon. He was awake and still hoping to get chemo today. We had a good visit and he said our family prayer before I left. He definitely expected to live a while longer.

The hospice nurse called shortly after midnight and told me that Steve was deteriorating and he expected him to pass within 24 hours. The nurse told me to try to get some sleep, but knowing that would not happen, I sent emails to family and left for the facility. As I entered Arbor Home, the nurse had the phone in his hand and was calling me. Steve was worse. I got to spend about 40 minutes with him before he passed. He did not struggle. His breathing was rougher with pauses. He gradually took fewer breathes until he quit breathing, I called the nurse and the nurse confirmed that he was gone.

Steve was one of the finest men I ever knew. I feel privileged to have had him by my side for so many years and look forward to being reunited with him again. I have cried privately this past year and know I will continue to have waves of emotions for a long time to come. He is truly in a better place.

Funeral arrangements are pending - probably Monday or Tuesday.

Hospice of the Valley - Arbor Home

Steve will move this evening to Arbor Home at 6063 E. Arbor Ave., Building B in Mesa. East on Main, turn South on Recker, turn East on Arbor. On the South side of Arbor look for the Hospice of the Valley dove on the sign.

Steve has had me worried this week. He had a distant look, was in considerable discomfort and was NOT watching the Food Channel. I knew he was not feeling well.

I am excited to announce the Food Channel is on again!!!

stevethomas2000@gmail.com cell: 602-315-5853

mthomas2604@gmail.com cell: 602-315-5854

Hospice - a scary word

When I think of October, I think of Halloween - one of my favorite holidays. I love seeing children dressed up, excited, running house to house. I enjoyed Halloween as a mother because I would meet new neighbors and visit with friends as we walked with the children.

With Halloween, I also thought of scary things - so I guess it is appropriate that this October we have to face this scary new part of our life - Hospice.


Hospice has always meant the end - giving up...

I am learning doctors recommend hospice when the patients life expectancy is less than six months.

I am learning it also means providing comfort and cherishing the moment.



How much time do we have?

No diagnosis = no prognosis


There is a Palliative Care specialist reviewing Steve's chart. He said yesterday that when people are declining month by month - they have months to live, declining week by week - weeks to live, day by day - days to live. That makes sense to me and is a formula I can remember.



Steve is definitely worse than last month. That is scary.

Looking for a good facility......

One place turned Steve down - they felt insurance would not pay enough.
One place we turned down - we felt it was a depressing facility.

Now the Case Worker is looking at options. Like all the employees we have worked with at St. Joe's, she is amazing. She is working to find a good facility for Steve.


Steve is still at St. Joe's and will receive his chemo on Wednesday.